PEP’s Work with the Principles of Compassionate Listening

Promoting Enduring Peace and Compassionate Listening

Throughout its history, PEP has had as its central mission getting people together, to talk and to listen to one another as friends and part of the global human family. This mission was accomplished by taking groups of Americans to visit other peoples in the world, and through education on issues concerning peace and social justice.

PEP has embarked on deepening these peace-making experiences by working to inculcate the principles of compassionate listening both in our communities here in the U.S. and by using these peace-making skills on our civilian diplomacy trips abroad.

What is involved in "compassionate listening"?
What's involved is our learning to listen to other people even when listening to them is difficult. It's learning to open our hearts to others when we might disagree with what they are saying, and looking for point of common, human interest. It's being completely present for another person, and listening with our hearts instead of our ears.

How can you learn more about it?

You can participate in a special, east coast, intensive Introductory Compassionate Listening Workshop on October 21-23.

Workshop Details:
Introductory Compassionate Listening Workshop in CT October 21-23, 2005. The Director of Training of The Compassionate Listening Project and author of "Listening with the Heart," Carol Hwoschinsky, will be coming out to CT from the West Coast to facilitate this special event. She will be assisted by Yael Petretti.

The workshop will take place at Wisdom House in Litchfield, CT. (The foliage up there in the Berkshires will be beautiful at that time!) The all included cost of tuition, room and full board is $500 per person. There is a $40 single supplement. Registration and deposit by October 1. Download the registration form and mail to us at 23 Alden Road, West Haven, CT 06516.

For details, call Yael at 203-387-0928 or write to office@pepeace.org.

Recommended Reading List:

Compassionate Listening by Gene Knudsen Hoffman
Listening with the Heart by Carol Hwoschinsky
The Wisdom of Listening by Mark Brady
Sitting in the Fire by Arnold Mindell
The Biology of Transcendence by Joseph Chilton Pearce
Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
A Spirituality Named Compassion by Matthew Fox
Coming Back to Life by Joanna Macy
Call Me by My True Names Thich Nhat Hanh
Bearing Witness by Bernie Glassman
A Human Being Died That Night by Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela
A Bone to Pick by E. Cose
Field Notes on the Compassionate Life: A Search for the Soul of Kindness
by Marc Ian Barasch

What is Compassionate Listening?

Compassionate listening is listening to someone with all of your attention, without judgment, without interruption, without blame or having to provide solutions. It is allowing another human being to feel safe enough reveal his/her deepest concerns about a problem or conflict. It is providing a way to establish heart to heart contact to share our humanity with one another.

 All relationships, whether they be among family members, friends, people in the community or among nations, are based on listening. Yet, we find it very hard to do. It is a very personal process, and we must learn to put our own opinions aside while we are listening to another. It doesn’t mean that we agree with this person; it simply means that they are important enough to us that we want them to be truly heard. This alone reduces tension and even violence. When a person feels truly heard, he/she is more able to listen to the other side, too. Thus, the way is cleared for understanding and reconciliation. In other words, it is peace-making, one person at a time.

How Does Compassionate Listening Relate to PEP’s Mission?

Promoting Enduring Peace has always aimed to bring people together for the sake of peace. It has worked primarily through sponsoring citizen diplomacy tours to various parts of the world where Americans can meet face to face with people of other nationalities. Through these intercultural contacts, friendships are born and understanding of human and political issues is enhanced.

The principles of Compassionate Listening deepen our ability to relate to and empathize with others, especially those who are in conflict. Perhaps even more importantly, they guide us in listening empathically when we are part of the conflict.

This ability to truly listen to others, even if we don’t want to, is the bedrock of making peace. If peace is to be really “enduring,” we need to work on this skill.

Would You Like to Get Involved?